can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
