Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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