Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
