State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
