he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
