A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize