did you get engaged???
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
