Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
