Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Let's paint friendship bongs
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
how drunk are you?
Several
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
