she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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