I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Floor bacon is actually really good
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
