how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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