SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
