I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
