If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
