i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
