So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
