He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
