You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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