he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
