please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
