So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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