As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
