she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
