So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My butt remains clenched, sir.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
