It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
BRING THE BAGELS
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
