I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
