Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize