I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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