So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
