maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
