i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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