Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
