Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
