never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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