I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
