69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
