you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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