haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
