Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I had to cum in my sink.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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