Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
