Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
