I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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