Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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