if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
