Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
