YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize