Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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