at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
