Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
