apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
