Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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