no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
