He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
