thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i think we sleep fucked last night...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
