yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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