hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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