They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
