My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
zippers are such a cool invention
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
