but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Randomize
