after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
