Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Everclear isn't food dammit
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
