I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
