I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
