i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize