Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
