Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
