I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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