The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
