Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
