ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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