But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
