I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
