operation harelip BJ is a go
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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