Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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