so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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