I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize