I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
