Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
