Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
